A Journey Through Grief: A Guide to Support and Understanding

Grief is perhaps one of life’s most universal yet deeply personal experiences. Like fingerprints, each person’s journey through grief is unique – but we all share the same need for understanding and comfort in difficult times. At First Memorial Funeral Services – Fairview Chapel in Ottawa, we’ve walked alongside countless families through their moments of loss, witnessing both the profound weight of grief and the gradually unfolding signs of healing. 

 

If there’s one thing we have learned through our years of experience in the funeral service industry, it is that grief can bring on an intense feeling of isolation. No one should have to walk down this path alone. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in the raw early stages of loss, supporting a grieving loved one, or finding yourself caught in waves of emotion several months after a loved one’s passing. Your feelings are valid, and we want you know that support is available close at hand. 

 

Having seen the myriad versions of how healing from grief occurs, we understand that empathy and understanding are not quite enough. What you need is a true and close connection to those around you. Whether you’re reading to seek information for yourself or looking to better support someone in your life, you’ll find carefully curated insights, practical resources, and reminders that hope, and healing are achievable, even in the midst of deep and tragic loss. 

We have often heard individuals and families describe grief as an unexpected storm. Striking without warning, it brings with it a complex array of emotions that can feel overwhelming and, at times, contradictory. While we often speak of grief in the context of losing a loved one, it’s important to recognize that grief can emerge from many types of loss — the end of a relationship, a significant life change, or even the dissolution of future plans and dreams. 

The Many Faces of Grief 

Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross describes five stages of grief that are widely recognized—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.i Countless grieving individuals have been able to put words to their experiences by identifying with these stages. Unfortunately, through our years of supporting families, we’ve learned that grief rarely follows a predictable path. You might find yourself moving back and forth between different emotions or experiencing several stages simultaneously. This isn’t a sign that you’re « doing grief wrong »—but rather, it’s a testament to grief’s deeply personal nature. No two individuals will grieve the same way. 

However, for many people, the five stages of grief can be a helpful tool to recognize and rationalize certain thoughts or feelings. Denial might manifest as difficulty accepting the reality of your loss, while anger could surface unexpectedly — perhaps directed at healthcare providers, family members, or even your loved one for leaving. Bargaining often involves the « what ifs » and « if onlys » that can consume our thoughts. Depression might feel like a heavy blanket that makes even simple tasks seem monumental. And finally, acceptance, contrary to popular belief, doesn’t mean that you’re « over it » — instead, it’s about learning to live with your loss while holding space for your memories and love to stay alive and thrive. 

 

The Physical Impact of Emotional Pain 

Grief affects more than just our emotions – it can take a physical toll on our body too. Many people experience exhaustion, disrupted sleep patterns, changes in hunger levels, and unexplained body pain. As we support families through their loss, we emphasize that physical self-care isn’t separate from grieving – it’s a vital part of the arduous journey. 

 

Cultural and Personal Dimensions 

 Grief is deeply influenced by cultural background, personal beliefs, and individual circumstances. Some cultures have structured mourning periods with specific rituals, while others approach grief more privately. We honour these differences and understand that there is no « one-size-fits-all » approach to processing loss. 

 
While frameworks like the five stages can help us understand and articulate our experiences, they shouldn’t be treated as a roadmap that’s set in stone. Instead, think of them as tools for recognition and validation — helpful signposts on a very personal journey that you will undertake in your own way. 

 

In our mission to support families through various forms of grief, we realize that each requires different kinds of understanding and support. Recognizing these different types of grief can help validate your experience and guide you toward appropriate support and resources. 

 

Anticipatory Grief 

 This kind of grief is felt before an expected loss, such as during a loved one’s terminal illness. While some may think of it as a “prepare yourself” stage, for those affected by it, anticipatory grief can be particularly complex. You might experience conflicting emotions while still caring for your loved one or feel guilty about « grieving too soon. » Many families we’ve supported have found that this period while challenging, can provide opportunities for meaningful connections and important conversations. 

 

Sudden or Traumatic Grief 

When loss comes without warning, it can feel like the world stops turning in an instant. Sudden goodbyes often bring their own unique challenges – from struggling to accept the new reality, to wrestling with words left unspoken and moments unlived. It’s not easy to stand strong when the carpet is pulled from under your feet. The shock of sudden grief can leave us feeling suspended between what was and what is, making it especially important to be gentle with ourselves as we find our footing in this unexpected journey.  

 

Complicated Grief 

Sometimes, acute grief symptoms persist longer than usual and interfere with daily functioning. This form of grief often manifests itself through symptoms such as intense longing that doesn’t diminish with time or difficulty engaging in daily activities. Sometimes grief takes a more challenging path, and that’s when extra support can make all the difference. Our team can guide you to experienced professionals who specialize in helping people navigate these more complex aspects of loss. 

Whatever the type of grief you’re experiencing, your feelings are entirely understandable but remember that support is available. You only need to reach out. Using our funeral services grants you access to the Compassion Helpline, where we offer a variety of support options to help you navigate your grief journey. Struggling to sleep at 3 AM? Finding it difficult to cope during the holiday season? Professional support is just a phone call away.  
 

• 24/7 Access to Licensed Grief Counselors: Speak with counselors any time of day or night to receive the support you need, when you need it most. It doesn’t matter if it’s 3 am! 

• Support Groups for Different Types of Loss: Connect with others who are experiencing similar types of loss, providing a sense of community and shared understanding. Hearing about another person’s grief may not diminish the gravity of your own but it may help you overcome the isolation and give you more strength to bear your loss. 

• Tailored Resources for Your Unique Situation: Access materials and advice specifically suited to your circumstances, whether you’re facing sudden loss, anticipatory grief, or complicated grief. 

• Professional Guidance for Up to 13 Months: Our services are designed to support you beyond the initial stages of grief, offering continued guidance as you adjust and heal. 

We often hear individuals describe living with grief as learning to navigate a new normal. At First Memorial, we understand that while the big moments can be challenging, it’s often the quiet, everyday moments that require the most support because those are times you might feel truly lost and alone. Here are some thoughtful approaches that might help make your days a little easier. 

 1. Journaling: Your Private Space for Processing 

Journaling offers a safe outlet for expressing complex emotions. Consider trying: 

• Writing letters to your loved one about your feelings and experiences 

• Recording precious memories and moments of gratitude 

• Tracking your emotions to identify patterns and triggers 

• Setting aside just 10-15 minutes daily for free writing 

 2.  Mindfulness and Grounding Practices 

These techniques can help anchor you in the present moment when grief feels overwhelming: 

• Start with short, 5-minute meditation sessions 

• Practice the 5-4-3-2-1 method: identify things you can see, touch, hear, smell, and taste 

• Try gentle walking meditation, especially in nature 

• Use simple breathing exercises during difficult moments 

 3. Creating Memory Spaces 

Honour your loved one’s memory through meaningful tributes: 

• Dedicate a special corner with photographs and mementos 

• Create a digital tribute through photos or playlists 

• Plant a memorial garden or special plant 

• Design a memory box of significant items 

 4. Your Personal Grief Toolkit 

We encourage families to assemble comfort items and strategies for difficult days: 

• Comforting objects (favorite blanket, photos, stress-relief items) 

• A list of emergency contacts and support resources 

• Calming music or meditation guides 

• Simple self-care routines and healthy comfort food recipes 

5. Daily Structure and Routines 

Establishing gentle routines can provide stability: 

• Maintain regular sleep and meal times 

• Include short walks or gentle exercise 

• Schedule regular check-ins with supportive friends 

• Set aside quiet time for reflection 

 

Moving Forward with Grace 

 

Healing after loss isn’t about reaching a finish line – it’s about finding your own rhythm to get back on track. Each suggestion we’ve shared is simply a stepping stone you might choose to use on your unique journey. 

 

The path forward looks different for everyone, and that’s perfectly normal. Whether you find comfort in quiet reflection, need someone to talk to through our Compassion Helpline, or feel ready to connect with others who understand, we’re here to support you in whatever way feels right. Take the time you need and remember that reaching out for help isn’t a sign of weakness – it’s a natural part of moving through grief so you can emerge stronger on the other side. 

When someone we care about is grieving, it isn’t easy to find the right words or do the right thing to help them. We have guided countless families through supporting their grieving loved ones, and we’ve learned that simple, genuine gestures often make the most meaningful difference. 

 

Essential Ways to Offer Support 

 

The Power of Presence

Being there for someone who’s grieving is often the most valuable gift you can offer: 

• Practice active listening without trying to fix their pain. 

• Allow for comfortable silences. 

• Let them share stories and memories repeatedly. 

• Check in regularly, even months after the loss. 

• Mark important dates in your calendar (birthdays, anniversaries). 

Words Matter: What to Say and What to Avoid

Helpful Phrases 

• « I’m here for you. » 

• « Would you like to talk about them? » 

• « I remember when… » (sharing specific memories of their loved one) 

• « There’s no right or wrong way to feel. » 

• « Take all the time you need. » 

 

Phrases to Avoid 

Instead of common platitudes that may minimize their grief, try more supportive alternatives: 

❌ « They’re in a better place. »  
✓ « I know how much you miss them. » 

❌ « Everything happens for a reason. »  
✓ « This must be so difficult for you. » 

❌ « I know how you feel. »  
✓ « I can’t imagine how you’re feeling, but I’m here to listen. » 

❌ « You should be feeling better by now. »  
✓ « Grief has no timeline. Take care of yourself. » 

 

3. Practical Support That Makes a Difference

As clichéd as it may sound, actions do speak louder than words. 

• Coordinate meals with other friends and family. 

• Help with everyday tasks (groceries, childcare, housework). 

• Drive them to appointments. 

• Assist with paperwork or phone calls. 

• Create a calendar of support with others. 

 

4. Supporting Different Grief Styles

Everyone grieves differently. Adapt your support accordingly. 

For those who need space: 

• Send texts that don’t require immediate responses. 

• Make specific, standing offers of help. 

• Respect boundaries while staying available. 

 

For those who need connection: 

• Schedule regular check-ins. 

• Share memories and photos. 

• Include them in normal activities. 

• Create opportunities for conversation. 

 

Conclusion 

The journey through grief is deeply personal, and at First Memorial Funeral Services – Fairview Chapel, we recognize that each person’s path toward healing will be unique. While this guide has explored the various dimensions of grief, the different ways it manifests, and strategies for both experiencing and supporting it, remember that there is no « right » way to grieve. 

 

As you navigate your personal journey or walk alongside someone who is grieving, we encourage you to be patient with the process. Some days will feel lighter than others, and that’s perfectly normal. The love we have for those who have passed remains a part of us, shaping who we are and how we move forward.  

 

Remember that you never have to walk this path alone. Whether through our 24/7 Compassion Helpline, our network of grief counselors, or our dedicated team, support is always available when you need it.  

 

If you’re seeking additional support or would like to learn more about our services, we invite you to reach out to First Memorial Funeral Services — Fairview Chapel. Together, we can help you find your way through grief toward hope and healing, one step at a time.